AKU SKIZO

Kekosongan

2012-01-10T14:59:00.000+08:00

Kadang-kadang kita jelas dengan apa yang kita endak lakukan.

Macam sekarang, gua amat jelas dengan apa yang gua nak lakukan:

GUA NAK PEGI TOILET DAN TERBERAK.

Sekian, terima kasih

2011; The Confession

2011-12-14T12:49:00.000+08:00

Kita ni manusia, bukan semuanya perfect. Ada ajer kekurangan dan kelemahan. Macam gua, gua ni dilahirkan berkulit gelap dan berhidung penyek di dalam masyarakat yang menyanjungi orang berkulit cerah dan bermuka Pan Asian. Bukanlah gua tak bersyukur dengan kejadian gua cuma, kadang kadang stigma dan mulut sial sial disekeliling boleh membuatkan kita rasa cam serba kekurangan.

Macam yang gua cakap tadi, gua ni berkulit gelap. Sejak dari kecik lagi, memang gua dah teruk kena ejek dengan panggilan panggilan manja macam buntut kuali, anak keling atau black dragon. Namun, apa yang gua kurang, tuhan lebihkan dari sudut lain. Gua diberikan dengan kapasiti CPU dan RAM yang jauh menjangkaui spesifikasi biasa bagi orang kebanyakan di tempat gua yang bantu gua mencapai tahap yang kira ok jugaklah dalam soal akademik. Gua pun yang menyedari bahawa gua takkan dapat tekel awek dengan rupa macam ni, telah menopapkan diri dengan berakhlak baik dan berminda matang dan advanced. Hinggakan kadang kadang ada jugaklah kalanya setan mengaburi pandangan gua dengan memakrifatkan orang sekeliling sebagai hooligan tak bersivik yang elok sikit dari hewan.

Akibat dari kapasiti tinggi itu juga, gua mula rasa keseorangan. Mana taknya, lawak gua advanced gila. Pandangan gua terlalu out of the box hingga dianggap tahapa-hapa. Dan cara gua membuat keputusan agak survivalist yang memang janggal memandangkan kaum gua ialah kaum yang terkenal dengan pantun dan metafor yang boombastik. Akibatnya gua pendamkan ajer semua apa yang ada dan berlagak macam orang kebanyakan. Namun secara diam-diam, gua meneruskan gaya pemikiran/hidup gua yang suka mengimprovekan diri, kononnya menghampiri destinasi yang gua panggil; kesempurnaan.

Lama kelamaan, bila gua dah dewasa, penyamaran gua telah memakan diri gua yang sebenar. Gua mula jadi leggo-leggo, mula turut serta dalam perlumbaan yang gua tahu sia-sia hujungnya, terpengaruh dengan desakan biology dan sosiology, malah mula terbawa-bawa dalam isu-isu remeh seperti kekeluargaan, hubungan dengan kawan dan lain-lain. Gua mula menjadi normal. Gua tak perasan semua ni. Hinggalah pada satu hari, diri gua yang inginkan kesempurnaan itu, menzahirkan dirinya dan mendesak agar gua kembaali ke siapa gua yang sebenar.

Dan di situlah bermulanya kesedaran bahawa, gua amat sunyi... Kerana gua tak boleh nak jelas atau kongsikan semua ini dengan seseorang yang lain. Selama ini, jika ada tekanan memuncak, gua akan lepaskan pada seketul batu besar di kampung gua. Ni balik kampung dah jarang-jarang? Gua mula mencari eskapisma. Cara nak luahkan segala yang terbuku dalam benak identiti gua yang sebenar. Masalahnya, gua takboleh nak cerita pasal apa saja kepada sesiapa saja tanpa membuatkan si pendengar merasa bagaikan dia tu macam chimpanzee. Maka, gua stop sampai sini saja.

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Show me How To Live

2011-11-13T22:07:00.003+08:00

What the FUCK is Celakaparty?

2011-10-29T04:45:00.000+08:00

What is celakaparty? Who is celakaparty? Why Celakaparty? WTF laa, celakaparty?

"I heard they got this nu-party in town"

If you read the twitter Timeline and you keep seeing the tag #bungamelati or #budakjembu or #Humanitarian being RT'ed and mentioned by alot of tweeps, would you go and check it out? Well, maybe if it concerns you or that special somebody you're trying to screw, yeah..eventually you'll check it out. But what happens when you see something like "Celakaparty" ? I bet the first question that'll pop in your mind is: WTF is Celakaparty? Then you'd probably Google it or search it within Twitter.

"We aint gays! Pfft!"

The word "celaka" used was purely accidental. I happen to stumble upon a guy named @JantanCelaka one day, fell in love with his thoughts at the time and thought, what the heck? Both of us twote like machine guns and as if taking turns, we terrorized the timeline day and night. The synergy worked and voila, people starts calling us the celakas. Then there was that Bersih 2.0 issue back then and I was thinking of answering @NajibRazak's challenge by starting my own political party. I prefer to call it "Smoking Bastards" but since there are some REALLY nice hot chicks tagging along in the team, well...

So, does the member of the team IS celaka? Not all. Only a few. And the rest are like the check and balance to these few bastards. Oh well. There's only one bastard in there and that guy is ME. Yeah. I AM THE CELAKA PERSON BEHIND this name. Go and find yourself a shoulder to cry on.

The idea was simple: We're here to have fun and be stupid. We are arrogant, energetic, take no nonsense and challenge everything. For each verb from the previous sentence, there's a lengthy explanation to the 'why' and 'how' of it and I have sprinkled the explanation well within this blog. You can keep digging until you find what the fuck is it all about. Yes, there are loopholes in my sentences and statements and after knowing why the word celaka just now, you should by now start flickering your neurons before blasting me (or anybody) with your blasphemy. There are reasons behind it all. All you have to do is ASK. Don't make an ass out of yourself by assuming this and that.

The main agenda with this is to gather the most obnoxious and critical minds in it and try to make them work as a team. Just imagine what kinda team we're gonna have if it works. There's a simple rule to be a member: just put the tag in your Twitter account profile. For me, when somebody willingly obey to this rule, that means they have what it takes to be a leader and that is to become an obedient team member first. That is why since day one, everybody in the team is encouraged to revere the so called "President" of the party. Hahaha.

"Ai ada mesej yg ai nak sampaikan"

Celakaparty IS NOT a political party and NOT associated with any. It's neither a proxy nor a trojan horse. It's also not an NGO. It's just a bunch of like-minded tweeps, getting together and watching each other's back. The idea behind this is to train the team members with trust (people trying to divide us and make us go against each other) and encouraging them to be aggressive (when they know they're in a team, they got this strange confidence) in expressing their minds (unlike the lalang mentality trained in Malaysian schools). It's a something that exists ONLY when the people in it BELIEVE in it. It's not for the President. It's not for me. It's actually for YOU and the next generation. Try to relate the point of this paragraph while minding the explosion of social media and the ease of accessibility in Malaysia at this moment of time.

I can go on an explain about how it suppose to roll and what are the short term and medium term objectives but since some wise-ass got wise earlier and sapu everything with THEIR interpretation of what this team is all about, even me as the so called co-founder of this shit has to respect the team's decision and forget about my silly plans and play along with it. I don't mind and THAT is what CelakaParty is all about.

..oh well...hahaha....

So, WTF are you waiting for?

ARE YOU CELAKA ENOUGH?

Friend is a Four Letter Word

2011-10-27T22:28:00.001+08:00

To all my #celakaparty comrades:

Friend is a Four Letter Word by Cake

To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word
End is the only part of the word
That I heard
Call me morbid, or absurd
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word
End is the only part of the word
That I heard
Call me morbid, or absurd,
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

When I go fishing for the words
I am wishing you would say to me
I'm really only praying that
The words you'll soon be saying
Might betray, the way you feel about me

But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

Preaching The End of The World - A dedication to all who knows

2011-10-22T10:26:00.001+08:00

Preaching The End of The World

Hello, I know there's someone out there

Who can understand

And who's feeling the same way as me

I'm twenty-four and I've got everything to live for

But I know now that it wasn't meant to be

'cause all has been lost and all has been won

And there's nothing left for us to say

But now I know that I don't want to be alone today

So if you find that you've been feeling just the same

Call me now it's alright

It's just the end of the world

You'll need a friend in the world

'Cause you can't hide

So call and I'll get right back

If your intentions are pure

I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world

I've got a photograph, I'll send it off today

And you will see that I am perfectly sane

Not for a lifetime or forever and a day

'cause we know now that just won't be the case

Call me now it's alright

It's just the end of the world

You'll need a friend in the world

'Cause you can't hide

So call and I'll get right back

If your intentions are pure

I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world

There will be no commitment and no confessions

And no little secrets to keep

No little children or houses with roses

Just the end of the world and me

'Cause all has been gone and all has been done

And there's nothing left for us to saved

But we could be together as they blow it all away

And we can share in every moment as it breaks

So, Call me now it's alright

It's just the end of the world

You'll need a friend in the world

'Cause you can't hide

So call and I'll get right back

If your intentions are pure

I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world

So, call me now it's alright

It's just the end of the world

You'll need a friend in the world

'Cause you can't hide

So call and I'll get right back

If your intentions are pure

I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world