To keep choosing

To work, or to function,
To exist, or to make an impact.
To be involved or to lead,
To breathe or to actually live.

The last song

Amatlah sedih bila menyedari, bahawa tatkala kau sangkakan masih ada keikhlasan di saat kekecewaan beroleh kemenangan, rupanya hanyalah satu pelaburan ke atasmu.
Tatkala kau sangkakan masih ada yang peduli di saat kau keseorangan, rupanya hanyalah sebuah lakonan.
Tatkala kau baru nak selamat dari lemas di lautan individualistik, rupanya telah lama sampai di dasar menemankan kapal memori dan harapan harapan yang tenggelam.

Semakin aku cuba memahami, semakin aku hilang kepastian.
Namun benci, tidak sekali.

Ku dendangkan lagulagumu, kujeritkan sepenuh hati. Aku layankan kesakitan dek kejujuran bersama airmata. Agar ia melukakan dan meninggalkan parut yang dalam yang akanku usap setiap hari selepas ini.

Selamat malam, sahabat.

One last burn.

They say they listen,
They claim that they care.
Yet the truth is they only care for what they want from you.
They make you need them, depend on em, addicted to em.
Then they leave you to yourself,
Right where the demons are.

How many more times could one rebuild oneself? When each time the self is shattered in new ways uncomprehended. And the resulting reconstructed self, doesn't even look like a being with a soul, or a thing worth looking.

I have learnt my lessons of life,
And over with my journey of dreams.
Now to gather my bits and pieces in the dark, hoping the bulk will create a new spark, so I could light myself ablaze, for one last burn.

...so they could warm themselves in the cold reality.