Interview with an asshole (Lets get wild)

continued from here

It got people baffled, but why do you claim yourself as a schizophrenic?
Schizophrenic?
As far as your medical records are concerned, you have never been diagnosed as a mental patient or such.

How the hell you know all these stuff? Shit! I know me. You, on the other hand know nothing about me. Who say you have to go to a psychiatrist to know that you are a schizoid? If they know you are one, they'd probably quarantine you and do all kinds of tests on you. All those silly picture cards and drawings. What the fuck? If people knew Rashidi was a shizoid, they'd locked him down since day one. If people knew John Wayne Gacy, Charles Manson, Nelson Shelton and all those psychotic killers were schizoid all along, they would lock them down. I don't want to be locked down, baby. I want to shag and have a double dose of roti paun and bubur kacang.


Ok. So how's it like being a schizophrenic?
It is not like being a star or something you know. Everybody has at least one chance of being a schizophrenic. It's just that most of the time we are a being made of common sense and moral values and that limits the schizoids in our minds from materializing. Me, on the other hand, have been succumbed into that dark abyss of confusions and now I'm mystified by the new world out there and all this time, I was too occupied from seeing it all.

So, you LIKE the way you are, now?
 Yes sir and luckily I don't have that tendency to kill myself or others yet, eventhough I do think about it from time to time.

Aren't you afraid of yourself?
For what? As long as I stay happy, I think I'm going to be just fine.

But a tiny push on your sense would unleash that killing side of yours...
That's why I decided to be a bastard. You see, if you think too much about positivity or righteousness, you are already bounded by your own mind. You would crack if your scream ofr positivity be ignored. But if you are a silly bastard like me, you wouldn't care about all those silly stuff. Those are craps!

I don't understand.
For example; if you claim yourself as a straightedger, you would contain yourself from smoking, drinking or practicing free sex. Your friends on the contrary, are not SXE. So you see your friends smoke, drink and worst of all, having sex in your house. Sooner or later you'll cracked and probably kill your friends or stuff like that. Or, you'll be just like your friends. I got nothing against SXE, it's just an example. But if you are a bastard and you claimed from the start that you do shits, and when people hear bad stories about you, they'd probably say; "Oh, heck, he's a bastard anyway", and that's it. No pressure. No innner voices. Happy. You dig?

I think I do. So are you encouraging people to be an ass like you?
I never said that. Being a bastard is not cool or fun or anything but I personally think taht it helps to get those nosy motherfuckers out of your life. Being alone is one thing. Being left alone is another.

Are you lonely?
Are you kidding me? I'm having the full blast of my life right now. I got a good job. I got chicks all around me. I got friends.

Is it true that you have to have friends to have fun?
Well, it depends on what kinda fun you are talking about. I personally think that we don't have to have friends all around us to have fun. I don't need no-freaking-body to be happy. But I do need a partner when it comes to sex. Hahaha

Now you do sound so lonely.
No I am not!
Yes you are!
No I'm not!
YES you ARE!
NO I am NOT!
Lonely-lonely-lonely!
I'ma kick your ass, man!
OK-OK lets stop for a while...


What's your motto?
I hate myself and I want to shag.
Oh, boy. Here we go again..
I want to smoke, make jokes and kick slowpokes.
What do you think about this world?
I think it's about time we stop and think about the world. We are not going anywhere if we keep hating each other and having pointless arguments. Leaders are smiling while somebody out there is killing to make a living. Lets start making some sense and show some love.


What do you think about life?
Life is like the radio programs. Sometimes the songs are good. Most of the times it's not. All of it are just reruns and if you don't like the programs, go watch the TV and kill yourself.

What the heck are you talking about, man?
Life is like spanking a virgin in a public place like a bus station pr something. You have to spank her JUST RIGHT to get her attention or you'll end up getting spanked.

Stop this shit. I think I'm going crazy like this.
Life is like picking your nose.
You are a moron!
Don't pick it too hard, you'll bleed.
You are sick!
Hahaha.
Fuck you!
You are always welcomed my friend...

The End (pheww!)

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