Interview with an asshole (like a thick yogurt)

Since watching RTM progams in the tube at night is listed as one of those things that can kill an adult malay male, I decided to do an interview. The problem is, I don't know any cool bands or individuals that can help me in accomplishing this task at this time. So i choose to do an interview with the person that I don't understand the most; myself...

So how do you describe yourself? 
Well, I'm funny, romantic, sexy, loveable and willing to love, cool, generous, rational, sensitive, like to be hugged, happy, tall, dark, handsome, smiley, helpful, a typical hardworker, intelligent, cute when I wake up in the morning, positive and the kinda guy a mother would trust their daughters to. Overall; I'm just a bastard.



Hehehe. Ok, here goes a good one; what's your hobby?
I'm currently serious into collecting small change.


Small change collector? That's a new one. How many 'small change' is in your keeping right now?
Technically alot but I used them all.

What?
Well, you know how it is. Destitute times calls for desperate measures. There are times when I nedd small change for the payphones and there's the late night snacks and all, you know...

Ok. Forget about it. Tell me what are you working on currently?
Currently I'm trying to make an abstract out of nose crap.

A what out of what?
It's a very tiring and nose-aching effort but it's fun and helps me breathe easier.

What kinda sick work is that? A picture made of boogers?
Actually, it's not a picture or some sort. I just put the craps randomly at first but since it starts to fill the spaces on my room's mirror, I figured why not call it an abstract art.
You put it on your mirror? Doesn't that sounds and look disgusting? Yuck!

That's the essence of it. The work is trying to reflect the hypocrisy of the society who say nose picking is disgusting in front of a public but they do it every morning in the toilet, trying to take their minds off the shit.

Yeah. But I still think it's gross. 
You wanna come over to my place and experience it? It's a work in progress and maybe you can chip in.
No I don't!
Yes you do.
No I don't!
Yes you do!
OK. No! I mean lets forget I asked that question. Let's get it on with the next one. What's your greatest achievement?

It's hard to point out the best since everything means something to me. Oh? I know! there was the time when I hadn't masturbate for 3 straight months, and for the first time in my fertile life, I managed to control myself and finished watching a hardcore porn movie from start to finish. ALONE! Not a single paus e. Not a single rub on the forehead. I felt the energy of being able to control my desire. It lasted for 2 hours and after that i had to jerk it off and the whole thing came out like a..

You know what?
What?
You are sick.
Tell me something I don't know. Anyway, the whole thing came out like a thick..

Forget it! Forget it!
Like a...

FORGET IT!!!
What was that thing again?

Stop it!
Haaaaaahhhh...

What? 
Like a thick yogurt ...

to be continued...

Hipnotisma ala payobosa ver 3.1

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...Pastu lamerrrrrrrrrr jari tu linger atas keyboard, memikirkan apa yang dipikirkan sebentar tadi. Puas menggoyang-goyangkan bijik mata ke kirikanan cuba mencari perkataan sesuai di celah niat niat yang subliminal. Lebih banyak menekan 'backspace' atau 'del' daripada menghasilkan sense dari non sense yang kita taip.

...Dan bila dah siap, baca berulangkali sampai tahap mengindoktrinasikan diri sebab lepas di postkan ajer kang, bersedialah nak menjawap soalan dari ahli fikir tahap tahi bintang. edit punya edit, lastlast idea gempak tadi hilang sengatnya. Nak dibiar dalam keadaan raw, takut mengundang RTM3. Ah, takper...aku tau bukan semua yang membaca ayat ini mengong belaka...

...Jangan lupa diBLOGWALK-kan benda baik, agar ada yang menganga jadi tertarik. pekejadahnya prodak yang revolusionary. Kalau ia hanya tersimpan di atas almari.

Tapi camana aku nak BLOGWALK kalau takde chatbox?
Ohhhhh...Kau nak suruh aku komennn? Nak komen aku? Ni komen aku...

Baca sambungannya di blog aku yang satu lagi>>>

RTM3 follower aku?

Mula-mula aku cerita pasal schizophrenic (zine aku). Aku promokan ketibaan blog ini dengan mengaburi mata pembaca melalui isu penyakit schizophrenia. Tak lama lepas tu, RTM3 lapor ada 300 ribu rakyat Malaysia yang mengidap skizofrenia.

Aku layan balik dengan artikel pasal apa itu skizo. Minggu ni, diorang siap buat 2 episode report dalam Buletin Utama pasal split personality (kecelaruan personaliti). Siap cakap ada 3juta orang Malaysia yang disahkan ada penyakit split personality. Sama ada aku paranoid atau perasan, namun yang pasti; schizophrenia sudah sampai di Malaysia.

Semua orang tension. Semua orang nak cepat. Orang yang jalan slow dan menikmati alam sekitar ialah orang tua dan orang yang dah pencen. Yang lain, selagi ada kuderat, kita hayun untuk dapatkan duit. Duit-duit-duit. Gaya hidup era kapitalisme tanpa sempadan. Manusia hidup dalam satu perlumbaan di mana yang di kejar bukanlah kemenangan. Yang dikejar ialah populariti yang tahapajadahnya. Bukannya boleh kenyang pun.

Tapi schizophrenia di Malaysia bukanlah naik pasal benda tu ajer. Ia bukanlah seperti schizophrenia yang kita paham melalui kajian ilmiah doktor-doktor luar negara. Diorang buat thesis berdasarkan  data bukan rakyat Malaysia. Orang Malaysia ni pelik sikit. Dia macam gabungan orang Singapore dan Filipina. Nafsu cam orang Thailand. Dan masing-masing, berhidung pesek dan berambut keriting macam orang Indonesia. Jadi, skizo Malaysia kena tengok dari sudut Malaysia. Kenapa info ini penting sekarang?

Sebab kadar jenayah kat Malaysia semakin membimbangkan. Kerana desakan kewangan di Malaysia telah menghasilkan penjenayah nekad dan profesional. Malah ada yang dah tahap serial killer. Ibu-ibu pun dah jadi pembunuh. Dan semua ini ada kaitan dengan ilmu berkenaan schizophrenia. Tak paham? Bagus...


Teruskan mengikuti blog ini...Hahaha